Hmm, where do I start? My friend was Emeh, our husbands went to school together (plus they did some business deals as well) and we had some mutual friends. Emeh sold fabrics so we all patronised her. They were a lovely couple: nice house, cute kids, a holiday home abroad, always smiling. A perfect marriage. Then me and my big mouth nearly ended it.
It started on February 14th, Val’s day. I knew nothing was happening (it fell during the week and hubby was at work). But he tried by crediting my account with small change to give myself a treat. Since I had been taking swimming lessons, I wanted to get one of those cute bikinis I kept seeing on IG. I headed to a Sports store. But all they had in stock was cheap, too-small stuff. I had noticed this young babe when I entered, she was just okay, looks-wise, but her bum eh! Plus she had a wonderful wig on her head (I love all things hair) and I noticed she was discarding swimsuits. I struck up a conversation. Let’s call her “Babe”. Babe said she was rushing to find swimsuits because she was flying off to one of those trendy beach resorts, for Vals. Mehnnn, I was envious. She mentioned that she knew a store close to us where they had nicer stuff, so we agreed to go. Babe had a car and driver. Hian! I had to re-scrutinise her, where was a 22 year old getting money to afford all this? Since my tire pressure needed to be checked, I gave her driver my car keys to sort it out.
We got to the store, a tasteful place and I walked in to see the owner (also another young girl, no more than 27). I began to wonder what I was doing with my life. Babe and the owner embraced and she poured out our woes of finding a nice swimsuit to the owner. Immediately the store owner started pulling out nice stuff, some were designer (original), others were good UK brands. Babe tried on different sexy outfits, prancing around in her big, perky bumbum for us to admire. Since I have the gift of gab, we all started talking and I encouraged them to be free with me. Eventually our convo came to this:
Me: “So this our vals holiday, are you going to beach resort by yourself? Isn’t that lonely?”
Babe (smiling): “I’m going with my man.”
Me: “Correct! And if he’s putting in this effort for hols, it can only mean there’s a ring and a question in this hols. Call me for wedding o!”.
Babe and the owner laughed and exchanged glances. I caught the reaction, looked at the puzzle of all I had seen and heard, and filled in all the gaps.
Me: “Ahhhh, bad geh!”. They laughed, then I continued, “won’t his wife kill him for disappearing on Val’s day?”.
Babe: “No o, he told her weeks ago that he has a meeting in Abuja this weekend, so he will join me on Thursday”.
As a fellow married, I felt bad for the wife. But what could I do? I think my disgust showed small on my face.
That weekend, I went to Emeh’s to pick up some lace fabric. As I parked outside Emeh’s house, I saw Babe’s driver sitting down in front of a house 2 gates down, with some others. The gist which I had forgot came rushing back. Emeh was home with another mutual friend. I brought up Val’s day into the conversation. Emeh got dinner, a new Prada handbag and some perfume. She had a great time but since he husband traveled the day after Val’s, she was feeling lonely. I told them about Babe and we chortled about the wickedness of men. I said “Guess what? The girl’s driver is outside”. They shrieked in laughter and insisted on escorting me outside, to suss out which of Emeh’s neighbors was a Sugar Daddy. We got outside, I pointed to Babe’s driver and said “that’s him”. Immediately, Emeh’s face changed, from confusion to embarrassment to anger. Our friend went “Isn’t that your husband’s new driver, Emeh…” her voice trailed away. Emeh turned and went into her house without a word.
I told my husband, worried it would affect his business deals (it did, a little, but money has to be made so they put it behind them). The mutual friend called me and we stalked Babe’s IG page (there was no man in her pics but plenty shots of her looking hawt by the beach). That magnificient bum, it was a recent addition to her body o! Dunno who paid for it. I think the friend blabbed to Emeh, because a week after the fiasco, Babe put her Instagram account on private.
Emeh avoided me for months. I eventually ran into her in the parking lot of a supermarket. We made very stilted smalltalk, with insincere promises to keep in touch. I noticed she was driving a flashy new jeep and since she and her hubby didn’t split, guess that was a reconciliation gift.
I guess all ended well. So, yay?