Hello women. Notice how I referred to you as women, not mums. Because that’s what you were for at least 2 decades, before added more (heavier) titles on your head and it weighed you down. We’re gonna talk about reclaiming yourself, finding the “You” that was, before all the heavy titiles of Mum, Wife, etc.
Do you recall how good it felt to be just you? Not the “provider of knacks, cooker of food, folder of clothes, organiser of family trips, events and services, driver to many schooldays and keeper of the Immunisation Cards?”. Good times. As women, we give so much of ourselves to other people, that we sometimes get lost in the sauce of life. We wake up one day and the only identity we have is “Mrs Donga, Mummy Akpororo”. But once, we were “Hadiza”. So how do we reclaim her back?
Create “Me Time”
The most important first step is to find time for yourself. And this is on you. Us gals like to do Superwoman and not ASK for time for ourselves. Sometimes, put yourself first and just take it: grab your car keys, uber and get out of the house. By yourself and not on your way to run errands or to church. Go get a pedicure, do a Spa-Day, infact when was the last time you bought yourself something nice? No matter how little, give yourself a treat.
We have a whole post dedicated to dressing, coming up. Because (and I’m also guilty of this) it’s very easy to let yourself go. You reason “I don’t have enough time for anything!” and then even your mum is outdressing you suddenly.
You hear that voice in your head going “you’re now a Mother, you can’t do this”? Mute it! Yes, you CAN take a vacation by yourself, yes, you CAN go out dancing all night or for a dinner date with your girls (not every outing must be a pious trip to church or mosque), yes you CAN take up a new hobby.
Enjoy your life
You only have one. Yes, it’s great to plan for the future, but there is really no point in worrying about it. Especially when you cannot really control it. Pray and trust your Maker that He knows best.
Please, let me be straight with you: there’s no right way of being a Mum. You can be serious, goofy, nerdy or trendy. Just be you.