The Discipline Game

Kitchen utensils

Hello, Angry Mum. How are you managing yur Naughtiness Tolerance levels today? Has it reached Bankai levels, where you shot laser glares at your naughty child, but it missed the monkey somersaulting on the back seat of the car, hit a random okada bike man like a stray bullet and caused a terrible accident? Do you find yourself yearning for Ye Goode Olde Days of Igbati-Hot-Slap, just like your mama used to dish it, piping fresh to your cheeks? Do you wonder what the best sort of Discipline to give your child? Well, let’s crack this nut together!

We all probably grew up being spanked. Sometimes, it was what we needed, sometimes it went to abuse levels (cutting you with a blade and rubbing pepper in the wound? Hian!). And now that we are exposed to so much information from so many sources, it kinda sounds like even the smallest touch to your child that is not a hug, leads to them in therapy at 22 years, hating you forever. So most parents are now scared to do anything other than bleat “Junior stoppit” whilst Junior is running around the Hair Salon, destroying a dryer.

A History of Discipline

My dad wasn’t a spanker and I was upset to hurt him by doing something bad. My mum was an arse-whooper and I was too scared to tell her if something bad happened to me, for fear of being beaten. And that is actually quite common (a Pastor once shared a story of a woman who got beaten so much as a child, she was too terrified to report to her parents that she was being molested by their worker, for fear of incurring more beatings). I have a friend who never got spanked, in fact she wasn’t sure her parents cared enough about her to bother disciplining her, another angle.

Now, I think different Discipline styles work with different children. My daughter is entering her naughty stage and is scared of being made to face the wall or go into the room. My son is seemingly acting stubborn where angry retorts of “Are you deaf, will you get down from that window” almost want to pass my lips. However, he is terrified of a toy Penguin I have and I use it to get him to stop climbing the furniture. But I don’t know how long this will hold on.

Which is why we gathered and spoke to Experienced Mummies™. With over 25 year worth of raising kids hands-on experience between them (and seeing the proof of reasonably well-behaved kids), they should have some sensible and practical nuggets to help us turn The Very Naughty Frog into Prince Charming. They’ll be dropping their post very soon!

And one last thing: please don’t flog the creativity, openness and laughter out of your babies. It’s actually normal for kids to test their boundaries. We still love them, no matter what.


Now, pass me that eba turner beside you, plis dear. My kids are using the television as a football goalpost.

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